1. |
Sicker
01:14
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Don't look at me, I'm a mess, I'm a wreck,
I've failed all sorts of tests
I just can't get enough rest--
But wait for the kicker,
I just keep getting sicker
When I just want to be free,
instead I'm down on my knees,
Screaming "I need release!"
Round after round, I keep taking the pounds,
Life's sure got me down,
But it gets me around
Time after time, and year after year
I'm trying my best,
Working through every fear
This road sure is long
Towards the end of my tongue
Why don't you give it a run?
But can't you see, I'm a mess, I'm a wreck,
I will just run away
You can't make me pay
I won't earn my stay
I'll do it my way, despite the decay
I won't help you out
I won't see the day
The day that I change
Become an adult, or ever feel shame
Don't look to me, I'm sure not to blame
No, don't talk to me
I'm too far away
I'm off in my head
In a distant land
Here to stay
so don't wait.
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2. |
Disease
03:30
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Falling into Earthly traps, unable to adapt.
Don't get sick, distracted, reevaluate these actions. Farouche resolutions, ecstatic connections, slipping away, for venal substitutions.
Slipping in the cracks of a parasitic culture, scrounging myopic medicine, knowing it won't help her.
Hidden isolation, controlling every action.
The pressure is closing in, closing in.
Careful as you tear apart your flesh, I think your world is poisoned.
Escapism is no longer an option, it's adhering to the virus.
Pacifism is an act of violence.
I'm so sorry you've been treated this way; even still I hope you can stay.
Fight this disease another day.
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3. |
Sludge
02:34
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These words drip from my mouth like spoiled milk.
Possessed among us, corrupted shadows lingering
Drugs destroying the brain
Dark leeches, consuming the light; override
The beauty is destroyed so we forget what it looks like.
Shapes & forms & thoughts & light & color come together.
Darkness shall & darkness might
never ever see the light.
In a moment, the black air leaves
in the moment, a candle breathes.
Soaked in sludge, we drudge, addicted to selfish love.
We only enjoy beauty after it's gone, but not while we're destroying it. In a society that glorifies substance abuse, sobriety is a rebellious act. Vulnerability is a radical behavior. Empathy and compassion have become innovative. The courage to be yourself is progressive. Refusing to partake in a materialistic culture is criminalized.
Abusing the shadows in glittering lights, our fiefdom has fallen. Vespine underbelly, you've all erased yourself, & detached from your souls. Can we heal the sick, so far gone?
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4. |
Death Becomes Us
01:37
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This world does not support the soul
the soul supports this world
Don't fall into these Earthly traps.
Can you see what you've become. Can you remember your soul, are you still able to transcend beyond these distractions and the Ego? Can we achieve our true selves before death becomes us?
Changing shifting these blurs of watercolor cars driving by, the sounds stay distant, research emerges in memories, I see the grime in the tub left over. I am not bothered by the presence, my polaroid may have stolen her clothes but she stole my understanding. The urban countryside holds so many mysteries; I see why none of you show your face. It's easier to hide than to be ripped open for all to see, but at least unlike the rest of you I feel free. These shaded lenses changing our views I am unleashed in therapeutic mania, but if I leave how much will come back?
The answer is change as death becomes us.
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5. |
So Cold
03:35
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Walking down the hallway and I think of you.
Flashes eye lashes unthought out gashes.
How much time will pass before we meet.
I look down at my feet and my reality fades away…
My skin feels like clay for you to form
our love is undying yet unborn.
I hide the gloves in what seems to be a locker.
Go talk to her
Just walk with her
Try to figure out the reason for love in this season.
"Why do you like me?" oh no reason.
Your body just aches to be pleased in.
I wish I could just explain why I alway think of you when it rains.
Am I acting drastic? This glass I'm forced to look through is fantastic
sorry if I seem sarcastic
My mind won't last quick so show me the way to get out of this never ending night
I fight myself daily my mind has always been hazy
I'm lost and I wish you could find me.
Blind me from all these daily fatalities.
But my realities overlap
Walking down this road I recognize
I realize all around me is just tricks and lies.
I look into your mirror and get distracted by a reflection.
It's me but I can't see my face.
All I can see is black
I guess I really did lose track
When will you realize I depersonalize when your near me
So I fear thee
I wanna be free but then who doesn't
I'm just trying to figure out where I was and wasn't
I don't care who does it just come through so I can a buzz quick
Her loves sick
My story feels like a bad love flick.
No wait I got a couple tricks
If you got the patience i'll show you how I work
& turn you into one of my frequent patients.
So just call me Dr. as I'm careful & unbox her
vision is blurry angry at how fast this jury is to judge
I refuse to budge now that it's apparent that I exist
I wish it was easier to remove this sludge that covers me
I hear you hover over me crying
Wishing it was you the one who was really dying.
I tell you everything is fine but you know I'm the one lying
I'm sorry I'm gone now
I'm sorry my brain will always be frying
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6. |
Finding Signal
02:02
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Nightmare closure, disconnected. Memories of shadow rooms, minds release, collapsing from fighting the addiction monster. Dark secrets knife the edge of delusion, no sleep, no art, no love, no improvement, more pills, more pills, more pills, more pills.
A lost opportunity, these human suppressants, resenting a familiar skin. Colours fading. Locked in your room, losing your childhood face. No sleep dreaming. I'll see you after.
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7. |
Colder
02:19
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The other night I had a dream
I saw you outside
You were left out in the snow
Left all alone
I know it was cold,
your body was covered in bruises & blisters, bleeding, unclothed.
You screamed out at me
"Why didn't you help me?"
It was so dark,
yet you were so clear in the streetlights.
I tried to help you
I wanted to help you
You had told me several times
how much the cold hurt
And now I understand
It wasn't just your body
the cold was in your soul
But at least now
you're in a place where you can finally be warm.
And I just have to walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away
…just walk away.
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Wolf Larva Denver, Colorado
A young tunesmith. Sitting in the industrial, ambient, noisey, avant garde, glitchy, IDM, dark wave, queer area of things.
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